se la tout espwa: there is hope

i was in jamaica when the earthquake hit haiti. we crowded around a tiny tv set to watch the news stories unfold. images appeared and numbers rose; it felt so surreal. jamaica and haiti are almost sisters. histories of colonization, weather patterns, lush green land disrupted by poverty. i felt like i'd been there. like i knew their stories. i could've loved them the same; i could've felt the earth shake, too.

i'm sure i cried.
i'm sure i felt helpless
privileged
paralyzed.
i always do.

until i processed and sorted and stored away that trip, and haiti along with it.
beyond occasional reminders or heart tugs or books on the topic (i recommend following jesus through the eye of the needle and mountains beyond mountains), i'm not sure that haiti was much on my mind during the last fourteen months. it was replaced, i'm sure, with other worthy causes.

it is now april 14 and haiti is back with immediacy.
my church is raising $100,000 for a project with eternal significance, that aligns with God's heart for the widow and the orphan, the poor and the vulnerable. we have three more days.
so here we are, approaching easter, in the midst of haiti fundraiser after haiti fundraiser, in the midst of planning my own. i'm running through hypotheticals and making checklists: tables, signs, soundboards, lights, videos, cupcakes.
i've never done anything like this before.

out of everything, what stands out to me most:
you can learn a lot about the heart of God by planning a concert.

seriously.

try planning a last-minute benefit concert with very-talented-but-relatively-unknown-artists for a crisis that you can never really understand and you'll learn a lesson or two in
prayer
provision
thankfulness
empathy
community
dependence
purpose.


if you're lucky, you'll see His bigger story being told.
i guess i got lucky...





se la tout espwa pou Ayiti: there is hope for haiti
se la tout espwa pou imanite: there is hope for humanity

we are a part of it. we are hands and feet to His work of redemption and restoration
He is using His gifts in us and His passions in us
He is using our small voices to sing the song of His love for Haiti

we are joining in His resurrection story
Haiti, Branches, Nicole Vaughn, Claire de Lune, missiongathering, Flood, Children of the Nations, friends and strangers:
we are joining in His resurrection story, singing His resurrection song

in that, se la tout espwa: there is hope

*If you're available, we'd love for you to join!

love in a playlist

there is a soundtrack for love

i'm absolutely sure of it

here's mine, so far

three days late, but a love(ish) song for every day of this love(l)y month

enjoy :)

love in a playlist

i tried to have a specific order buuuttt, as it turns out, i don't know how to do that AND upload it onto here. it was one or the other, and i chose the other.

p.s. a few songs didn't work originally. SO, you should check out:

-I Wanna Call It Love//Sondre Lerche

-My Girl//The Temptations

-Nothing Fancy//Dave Barnes

-Divine Romance//Phil Wickham

-Slow Dance//John Legend

-Let's Fall in Love//Diana Krall

dream of me :)

i've got this song stuck in my head today...

it must be february!

sweet dreams til sunbeams find you...

sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you,

but in your dreams, whatever they be,

dream a little dream of me

happy february :)

i saw what i saw

your pain has changed me

your dream inspires

your face a memory

your hope a fire

your courage asks me

what I'm afraid of

and what I know of love

i saw what i saw//sara groves

branches

i am blessed to be surrounded constantly by incredibly talented musicians

i'd need an infinite amount of fingers to count the sing-a-longs and nights spent listening with closed eyes and open hearts and the way that their music has changed things

so, in honor of music and all these friends (and one friend in particular)

do yourself a favor and check out branches

it's a group of best friends (and lots of hair)

and we, at the not-so-blue-door, have been listening to their songs on repeat

(specifically maps of wars because it's seriously seriously seriously good...)

you can too:

http://www.myspace.com/soundslikebranches

and, in the words of tyler (vocals and guitar and longer hair than me):

"add us as a friend, spread the word, sing along, and if you'll be in LA the first week of September, buy a ticket for our show with Tyrone Wells here"

jungle drum

just discovered this song and i'm obsessed

so happy and fun and full of love!

(and what is this jungle dancing theme i've got going on??)

enjoy :)

and happy friday!

day 1: LOVE

blog challenge, day one:

LOVE

because i want to wander around in a forest with all of my friends and sing about love with a handsome boy who loves me too

to follow the blog challenge:

1. check back daily and leave encouragement

2. check out my challengers (Taylor and Kendra)

3. leave encouragement for them, too :)

i want only this

When I get up in the morning, put the kettle on
Make us some coffee, say hey to the sun
Is it enough to write a song, and sing it to the birds
They'd hear just the tune, not understand my love for words
But you would hear me and know...

I want only this
I want to live
I want to live a simple life

I dreamed you first, but not so real
And every day since I found you, such moments we steal
Like little thieves, we rub our hands
And hold our hearts between them
But will you hear me and know?

I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time
To know our neighbors all by name, and every star at night
We'll weave our days together like waves and particles of light

I want only this
I want to live
I want to live a simple life

Simple Life//The Weepies
(a personal favorite)

music monday

we laugh until we think we'll die

barefoot on a summer night

nothin' new is sweeter than with you

home, let me go home
home is wherever i'm with you

i'm so scared of getting older
i'm only good at being young

the semi-regular update...

can't sleep. might as well blog?

listening to (please excuse my long list...i got itunes giftcards for my birthday...):
amos lee--sweet pea
anya marina--all the same to me
ben folds & regina spektor--you don't know me
charlene soraia--postcards from io
elizabeth & the catapult--perfectly perfect
elizabeth & the catapult--race you
elizabeth & the catapult--taller children
elizabeth mitchell--you are my sunshine
emilie mover--ordinary day
griffin house--that guy that said goodbye to you
jaymay--gray or blue
kate nash--merry happy
katie costello--kaliedoscope machine
mungo jerry--in the summertime
rachel goodrich--terminal song
ray lamontagne--you are the best thing
robyn--show me love
sara schiralli--paranoid
sleeping at last--chandeliers
slow club--thinking, drinking, sinking, feeling
the submarines--you, me and the bourgeouise

and you should at least listen to all of these :)

reading:
the chronicles of narnia
galatians

learning:
what it means to be open
history 358--the middle east and terrorism
how to treat my body well
why i need Jesus (a lesson never fully learned...)

enjoying:
my vintage typewriter
san diego
evenings spent with music and a paintbrush

discerning:
post-may 2010 (shooooooot...)

feeling:
absolutely blessed
absolutely loved
absolutely exhausted

update

listening to:
beck--girl
chairlift--bruises
charlie hall--mystery
coldplay--till kingdom come
damian marley--all night
eisley--marsh king's daughter
mewithoutyou--a stick, a carrot & string
owl city--fireflies

reading:
1 corinthians

learning:
holy awe
tbat the Lord loves justice

still counting down until:
wedding (friday)
move back to san diego (sunday)
birthday (tuesday)

enjoying:
sleep
camping
fresh flowers in my bedroom

happy that:
i can set up a tent

seriously...

just listen to feist...

this must be the soundtrack for falling in love...

all around the world :)

the week of april 26-may 2, a recap

current playlist:
-norah jones: toes
-death cab for cutie: transatlanticism
-band of horses: the general specific
-vampire weekend: m79
-emiliana torrini: sunny road
-cold war kids: we used to vacation
-madeleine peyroux: don't wait too long
-brooke waggoner: come love, see my hands
-amos lee: bottom of the barrel
-derek loux: fragrant burning

current obsession:
balloons and logic problems

highs and lows:
low: the 85 degree burn that i got from the tea i spilled on myself in the middle of missions cafe, followed by an embarrassingly loud gasp and dramatic reaction...and most likely, a scar

high: so many. officially becoming the coordinator for color your world with casa. fiesta and friends. watching three great movies in one week. death cab on wednesday night. chocolate chip pancakes for dinner. conversations about heaven. discipleship. crashing a wedding.

favorite thought:
"how i wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me. it's like a book elegantly bound but in a language you can't read just yet"

'twas a good week.

clockwatching

i am just a person--a soul in a body.
i breathe in, i breathe out; my heart pumps blood.
i love, i think, i imagine, i dream.
i am just a person.
and this Life is
mine.

at any moment, my breathing could slow,
and my beating heart could falter.
my mind could fail me, and my organs could admit defeat.
my body could surrender to the grave.
at any moment.

life is precious. time is precious.
a billion pictures captured, they fit together
the puzzle pieces of your existence
slowly coming together, telling a story.

how does it go?

inspiration comes. it says "live."
don't waste this precious gift.
use wisdom, have compassion, seek justice
find Life.

reality, though.
do not accept a fake.
we aren't talking about street vendors in the big city selling knock-off prada bags.
a phony will not do. a phony will never do.
pass it by, just keep walking. keep walking.
keep walking.

------

the sun is shining on me, i can feel its warmth.
its rays hit me, energy and renewal within its reach.
the darkness has claimed enough--enough time.
enough wandering, enough recklessness, enough of the soul-suckers.
enough.
the light is here, that we may have life and have it to the full.

the clock is ticking.
get it back:
beautiful, precious life.

i cannot waste it.
i cannot watch it pass before my eyes.
do not follow the herd to the slaughter.
do not be the cattle that is led astray.
choose wisely.
one choice, one chance to live.
don't waste it.
choose wisely.

before the sand runs out
turn your back on the faulty substitute.
turn your back on the stupid, life-stealing, self-destructive substitute.
follow the light, it leads to Life.

"Hold your own, know your name, and go your own way and everything will be fine."

**Details in the Fabric, Jason Mraz

catastrophe and the cure

I'm sitting on the couch right now. In my headphones, Explosions in the Sky is playing. Inside, It All Feels The Same.

I have this Garden State-esque feeling, the one where Zach Braff's character is sitting in the plane, with mass chaos surrounding him, as his world crashes down around him, and he just sits, numb, immobile. Except I don't feel numb, and I don't feel immobile. But I'm sitting on this couch and I feel as if it's just me and this song, which, by now, has changed. Home.

These songs are so mellow, I'm surprised it doesn't put me to sleep. But it never does. It never has, and probably never will. There's something in these songs--they excite me, they motivate me, they make me want to do something. It's like, when I picture my life, this is the soundtrack.

At first, it's just the guitar, some light picking. Then, strings. I have no idea how they do it, what instruments they're actually using...With no real pattern, except they are there, it's beautiful, and here I am, thinking about my life, thinking that this song completely describes how I'm feeling at this moment, except with no words, just the guitar, the bass, and a few strings.

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but my heart starts to go....it's beating fast, I swear, the whole couch is shaking because my heart is beating so hard. It's beating, and pumping blood, and it is exactly in tune with this song. It's beating along with the guitar and the strings and the wordless melody is playing in my head. And I'm thinking, this song doesn't need words because it's the soundtrack to my life. Every part of my life.

This song is when I'm bursting with passion, exploding with excitement, ready to face anything. I want to get up and run, or dance, or sing, or just go.
This song must be what it's like to fall in love.
This song is when I feel so close to God.
This song is pain; this song is insecurity; this song is fear.
This song is joy; this song is trust; this song is taking the next step.
This song is when I'm exhausted, ready to collapse, ready to give up.
This song is peace.

This song is my life. And it doesn't need words, because somehow all the parts come together, all the instruments join together, and it speaks for itself.