summer reading, starting NOW!

after a week like this one, i am ready for saturday
saturday, i'm hoping, will be a peak into my summer days
sunny skies and a blanket in the sun
and a start to my summer reading list

my ever-growing list begins now:

1. The Pursuit of God//A.W. Tozer
2. Tree of Codes//Jonathan Safran Foer
3. The Cost of Discipleship//Dietrich Bonhoeffer
4. Tattoos On The Heart//Father Greg Boyle
5. Water for Elephants//Sara Gruen
6. From Harvey River//Lorna Goodison
7. The Book of Night Women//Marlon James
8. The Other Side of Paradise//Staceyann Chin
9. I Am An Emotional Creature//Eve Ensler
10. If I Could Write This in Fire//Michelle Cliff
11. The Time History of Paradise//Margaret Cezair-Thompson
...

[via]

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."

--CS Lewis

eternity in our hearts

he has made everything beautiful in its time. he has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

ecclesiastes 3:11

i had eternity in my heart before i had any idea what that meant

it was always easy to hope for

in my mind, it was renewal and restoration and the Lord's beautiful and intentional shaping of lives and hearts

in reality, it wasn't always easy to see and much less easy to grasp

sometimes all you get is a glimpse...

in a conversation

or Easter dinner with your family

or a story of tangible hope

[then you wait]

c.s. lewis calls them "stabs of joy" and that never quite left me

(lord knows i love that man...)

"stabs of joy:" the momentary satisfaction of an eternal heart-longing; glimpses into a sacred plan; opportunities to see even just a fleeting image of what should and will be

they're beautiful moments, really

reminding us of His heart and His hopes for us, if only we'd hope in Him

we get glimpses and wait for His perfect timing

(honestly, though? His timing, in our impatience or our hesitation or in light of our own hopes and plans, feels more painful than perfect)

but He has been dreaming from the beginning and letting us in on His vision

if we'd just have the courage to let Him dream it over us

imagine it for us and with us

then, walk in it confidently

{via}

sometimes, my confidence is shaky

yesterday, in a moment of doubt mixed with fear, i turned to my mentor and said:
"but i can't imagine anything better than this"

read: i'm not sure if that there could be anything else in store for me

her response was perfect (per usual) and much more eloquent and insightful than my paraphrased version:

"you don't need to. He is imagining it for you. this place where you are now is just a glimpse of what is to come."

all i have now is a glimpse

but i can expect good things, eternal things

things that satisfy the heart of God

made beautiful in His time

se la tout espwa: there is hope

i was in jamaica when the earthquake hit haiti. we crowded around a tiny tv set to watch the news stories unfold. images appeared and numbers rose; it felt so surreal. jamaica and haiti are almost sisters. histories of colonization, weather patterns, lush green land disrupted by poverty. i felt like i'd been there. like i knew their stories. i could've loved them the same; i could've felt the earth shake, too.

i'm sure i cried.
i'm sure i felt helpless
privileged
paralyzed.
i always do.

until i processed and sorted and stored away that trip, and haiti along with it.
beyond occasional reminders or heart tugs or books on the topic (i recommend following jesus through the eye of the needle and mountains beyond mountains), i'm not sure that haiti was much on my mind during the last fourteen months. it was replaced, i'm sure, with other worthy causes.

it is now april 14 and haiti is back with immediacy.
my church is raising $100,000 for a project with eternal significance, that aligns with God's heart for the widow and the orphan, the poor and the vulnerable. we have three more days.
so here we are, approaching easter, in the midst of haiti fundraiser after haiti fundraiser, in the midst of planning my own. i'm running through hypotheticals and making checklists: tables, signs, soundboards, lights, videos, cupcakes.
i've never done anything like this before.

out of everything, what stands out to me most:
you can learn a lot about the heart of God by planning a concert.

seriously.

try planning a last-minute benefit concert with very-talented-but-relatively-unknown-artists for a crisis that you can never really understand and you'll learn a lesson or two in
prayer
provision
thankfulness
empathy
community
dependence
purpose.


if you're lucky, you'll see His bigger story being told.
i guess i got lucky...





se la tout espwa pou Ayiti: there is hope for haiti
se la tout espwa pou imanite: there is hope for humanity

we are a part of it. we are hands and feet to His work of redemption and restoration
He is using His gifts in us and His passions in us
He is using our small voices to sing the song of His love for Haiti

we are joining in His resurrection story
Haiti, Branches, Nicole Vaughn, Claire de Lune, missiongathering, Flood, Children of the Nations, friends and strangers:
we are joining in His resurrection story, singing His resurrection song

in that, se la tout espwa: there is hope

*If you're available, we'd love for you to join!

your laughter

take bread way from me, if you wish

take air away

but do not take from me your laughter

do not take away the rose,

the lance flower that you pluck,

the water that suddenly bursts forth in joy,

the sudden wave of silver born in you

my struggle is harsh and i come back with eyes tired

at times from having seen the unchanging earth,

but when your laughter enters

it rises to the sky seeking me and

it opens for me all the doors of life

my love

in the darkest hour your laughter opens

and if suddenly you see my blood

staining the stones of the street,

laugh

because your laughter will be for my hands like a fresh sword,

next to the sea in the autumn

your laughter must raise its foamy cascade

and in the spring, love,

i want your laughter like the flower i was waiting for,

the blue flower, the rose of my echoing country

laugh at the night

at the day

at the moon

laugh at the twisted streets of the island

laugh at this clumsy [girl] who loves you,

but when i open my eyes and close them,

when my steps go, when my steps return

deny me bread

air

light

spring

but never your laughter

for i would die

{via}

{via}

your laughter

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