mark 1

...the most intensely beautiful study of scripture that I've ever done. Hours and hours and hours each day spent in a tiny, freezing cold, dimly lit tent, studying scripture, manuscripting and scribbling notes, debating meaning.

Wonderful. Beautiful. Perfect.
No other form of study seems to do scripture, or Jesus, or life, justice.

Day 1, after three hours=frustration.

I completely missed the point.
The Jews were anxiously hoping for and longing for the Messiah in the deepest part of them. They longed for the Old Testament promise to be fulfilled. They longed for Jesus in a way that I haven't known in a long time.

And I missed it.
I wanted to get to the part about Jesus and what He said and what He did. I wanted to talk about the wilderness and His temptation and His baptism. I totally missed the point that John the Baptist was preparing the way for the longing for the Messiah to be fulfilled and he was pointing with his entire life and being to Jesus.

I wouldn't have been able to tell you what it meant to truly long for Jesus in the depths of my soul.

But He is the Messiah, the One who we've been waiting for. And now, my soul remembers what that aching, longing desperation for Jesus feels like.

He has authority, echoing Divine authority.
He has the authority to touch a leper and restore to him his life.
(TOUCH: when something touches something holy, it becomes holy itself)
He has the authority to forgive.
(FORGIVE: set free from bondage, process of washing/cleansing, requires atonement)
He has authority to teach and to cast out demons.
He has authority over the physical and the spiritual realms, over our Spirits.

SPIRIT: our life and vitality
it can be moved in a particular direction, impaired or diminished, then revived again
ruah: as if a supernatural force is taking possession of our Spirit.
manifestations of divine energy
the dimension of our personality where relationship with God is possible
the human life in man--appetites, emotions, passions

What I want for, what I ache for, is that Jesus would have possession of my Spirit, that my Spirit would be under the authority of Christ.

When He came, the Heavens were torn open.
Jesus allowed the Kingdom of God to break open.

OPEN:
can be metaphoric, spiritual, literal or physical
in the Old Testament, heaven opens to send judgment, blessing, salvation

And Jesus is God. And He offers evidence, over and over and over again.
And "Son of God" means something completely different than what I thought it to mean.
And "Son of man" means something completely different than what I thought it to mean.
And "authority" means something completely different than what I thought it to mean.
The strongman has been bound and his house plundered.

And Jesus has not changed.
Wedding guests do not fast while the bridegroom is with them. So we eat.
And I want a new surname, like when Jesus gave Simon the surname "Peter," or when He gave James and John the surname "Boanegers."
(SURNAME: new identity, captures the essence of a person)
I want Jesus to tell me who I am.

And, to Jesus, can I just say "whoa?"
Because really, whoa.
Moment after beautiful moment, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Authority over the human body and disease, over Spirits, over evil, and even over nature.
All things are under His control.
"Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey Him?"
Whoa.
Finally, His disciples see who He is--fullness of Divinity, breadth of power.
And maybe the tension just completely disappears and the gravity of who Jesus is becomes clear and what else do we need to know?

What else matters?