transparent

Can I be transparent with you? I just want you to know--I'm really good at faking it. I'm really good at pretending that I have it all together, that I am strong, that I have it all figured out. Even in the hard stuff, I was, or so I thought, strong enough to face it, strong enough to deal with it on my own. In my mind, weakness is not an option. I want Jesus to be Lord of my life, so long as I can still maintain control, as long as my strength is enough.

I think God laughs at my idea of strength. Or maybe He doesn't laugh--maybe He is so deeply saddened by it. Maybe He is so saddened that I think so often that I don't need Him, or that I don't deserve His strength, or that His strength isn't enough. I think He's even more sad when He tries and tries to make me understand the easy way, and I just don't get it. And then sometimes, you have to learn things the hard way. Sometimes your world crashes down around you; everything that you thought you'd figured out falls apart; everything that you thought you knew about yourself somehow just doesn't work anymore. And the only thing that works is Jesus, as if that is a surprise.

The only thing that works is Jesus.

Always. That is always true. Other things may work for a while, other things might hold up for a short period of time, but Jesus is eternal, and Jesus is a rock. The only thing that works is Jesus. Period.

2nd corinthians 12:9&10 "'my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. for when I am weak, then I am strong."

that is so freeing. things can be hard, and it's okay to say that. and it's okay to rejoice that Jesus is strong enough for our every need. for our EVERY need. He wants to be healer, provider, rescuer, redeemer, the God of our past, present, and future. He wants us to be free.