to be a child

the dishes are done and put away
and we're all sitting in the living room
enjoying the cool breeze and the whirring of the fan
after a beautifully hot day
it's blogging time

sorry for the wait
(if you were waiting, that is...)
i just haven't known what to write
because each day is a process
each day unearths something new
and it's hard to put into words
how wonderful it has been

something has been stirring
and i've had a strong sense of hopeful expectation
as if i've been waiting for something
that i would not believe, even if i were told
and it's happened
even still, i don't believe it

i'm rediscovering my childhood
in the most beautiful, organic ways
outside of the reality of the passage of time,
the child in me is waking up

i'm stepping into the deep pools of healing
and from the very very inmost part of me
i want to jump up and down
and twirl around and around, unashamedly
and laugh like i haven't laughed in so long
i'm being invited to dance and play and explore

things that i should've experienced as a child
are mine, now
nothing can keep me from them
so yes, i'll sit on my dad's lap and tell him i love him
and yes, i'll sit on a blanket in the sun and read "The Secret Garden"

i'm listening to the message of Love
and rejoicing in the fact that
life is wonderful
and i'm letting myself be romanced by
the beautiful things in life:
flowers behind my ears
blankets in the sun
letting my imagination run free
childlike vulnerability

it's good
i'm free

it's just such a beautiful form of redemption
that i never saw coming
His love does not know the bounds of time;
His redemption does not know the limits of past, present, future
what i thought He would do, even my wildest dreams
do not compare
to the reality of what He is doing
it's so much sweeter than i could've ever imagined